Net Fix

I'd originally intended this post as a hate letter to Blockbuster, but in the spirit of positive mental attitude decided on a tribute to Netflix instead. Now that's not to say I won't bother with a passing mention of my absolute detestation of the former. After all, that big blue and yellow box merrily swallowed binfuls of my money during my early 20s - a time when I considered spending $20 on a 99cent store shopping spree a treat. Miss one day and you'd be charged the price of the rental in the first place. Miss two or more days and you could have bought copies of the movies for you and a friend to hold and cherish at your leisure forever. Had you been so smart in the first place that is.

But my hatred for Blockbuster extends beyond the late fees. It's about all the times I desperately wanted to rent the already taken single copy of Citizen Kane while 47 copies of a New Release starring Jennifer Lopez cried out for me from the shelves (in a tortured and strained cat-like howl, no less). This coupled with the fact that every time I visited a store as a single person I had to endure all of the sickeningly happy couples, all comfy-cozy in their sweats, making wretchedly wet sounding noises as they kissed and touched each other inappropriately. I tell you it was almost enough to turn me off to rentals forever.

So forgive me if it gives me great pleasure to see so many strip malls reduced to ghost towns, the once-bustling Blockbuster stores now hollowed out, with fading yellow walls and spray-painted obscenities.

But I'm here to exhault Netflix, aren't I? Ahh...Netflix. The name even sounds poetic to me now, like the whispy sound of a butterfly easily escaping the swooping net of an obnoxious child.

Yes it's true, there are never, ever any late fees. And the once-a-month fee can be as low as you want it to be. You shop for movies anytime you want in the comfort of your own sweats at home, your little Cheeto-stained fingers sticking to the keyboard. You add to your queue with carefree abandon, clicking any movie you have ever wanted and could ever possibly want to watch. You can even continuously change the priority of your picks, depending on what mood you're in. And your movie takes about two days to arrive, just long enough to forget about it and be pleasantly surprised with the mail, but not long enough to piss you off.

And when you're finished you just pop it back in the mail, postage-included and excitedly await the next one on your list. In the meantime, you can rate the movie, check out what your decidedly intelligent Netflix friends have been watching, and even browse through the wonderfully recommended "Movies You'll Love" section. And later on, you can scroll through your History, laughing and cooing with fondest memories at all of the movies you'd forgotten you enjoyed.

It's pure genious, really.

And so Netflix has become my cure-all for many an emotional night and my love of renting movies has been restored. And best of all? They're always in stock with any movie you can imagine from foreign films to documentaries. So you never have to resort to a watching a "Blockbuster" movie again.